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I'll Fight For You

Today, as I sat in the studio on day 2 of classes I was feeling all the feels. Gratitude, fear, anxiety, doubt, excitement, happiness, goodness. I was feeling everything. For a second, I sat there and thought to myself, "What the heck are you doing, Lauren? How are you going to make this work?" During that moment of thought I heard the song playing in Toning. It went right to my heart and shook my core.



Andy Grammer - "Don't Give Up On Me"


"I will fight I will fight for you I always do until my heart Is black and blue

And I will stay I will stay with you We'll make it to the other side Like lovers do

I'll reach my hands out in the dark And wait for yours to interlock I'll wait for you I'll wait for you

'Cause I'm not givin' up I'm not givin' up, givin' up No, not yet Even when I'm down to my last breath Even when they say there's nothin' left So don't give up on

I'm not givin' up I'm not givin' up, givin' up No, not me Even when nobody else believes I'm not goin' down that easily So don't give up on me

And I will hold I'll hold onto you No matter what this world'll throw It won't shake me loose

I'll reach my hands out in the dark And wait for yours to interlock I'll wait for you I'll wait for you

'Cause I'm not givin' up I'm not givin' up, givin' up No, not yet Even when I'm down to my last breath Even when they say there's nothin' left So don't give up on

I'm not givin' up I'm not givin' up, givin' up No, not me Even when nobody else believes I'm not goin' down that easily So don't give up on me

Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

I will fight I will fight for you I always do until my heart Is black and blue"


I sat in my chair, my heart beating and a huge smile took over my nervous face.


You see, how can we ever expect others to fight for us if we don't fight for ourselves? We can't. We win inside when we fight for ourselves. When we don't give up on what we are working for. When we are the only ones left in the ring, feeling like we can't take a breath. But then what happens? We do. We find that extra breath. We stand up. We speak kindly to ourselves, we throw the punch until our hands are black and blue. Because if we don't, who will? Most the time we are in the ring with ourselves. We throw punches at ourselves that we expect to come, but we let it beat us down. Let's stop that. We have a lot to fight for, but the most important is ourselves. I think sometime we aren't sure if we can. We look at the person next to us and think it is just "part of who they are" that keeps them fighting. But is it? I believe we are given chances daily, sometimes even hourly to fight for ourselves. What we do with that opportunity is what shapes us.


As this song was blaring and I was still smiling, I saw a movie in fast forward play in my head. It went something like this.


"I'm not giving it up, no I'm not giving up...no not yet."


"Lauren, you have done so much, you have risen so many times"


"Even when its down to my last breath, Even when theirs nothing left."


"Lauren- you rose when family life was hard. You rose when school was hard. You rose when you got kicked out of school. You rose when you ran out of food and money. You rose when you let go of your health and decided to take control of it."


"I will fight for you, even when no one else believes."


"Lauren- you did this because if you didn't no one else would or could. You did this because you needed someone to fight for you. You did it because if you didn't, the world would have its way with me."


"I'll reach my hand out in the dark and wait for yours to interlock. No matter what this world will throw it won't shake me loose."


"Lauren- you've risen to each occasion. You've been beat down but you have put up a fight and you have won. Why? Because, I don't give up. Because even when I feel unmotivated, unloved, unworthy, I know there are better days ahead and they only way to get there is by standing back up. By being strong for myself. By using the fire to mold me, to shape me and refine me. You are your biggest competitor, but you are also your biggest cheerleader. You are also the very person that can love you, be there for you and fight for you."


As the song ended the words continued in my thoughts.


I'm not giving up, no I'm not giving up, oh no not yet."


Let's put up that fight for ourselves. Show yourself that by creating self love and creating a space of trust from within, you will absolutely win every fight your up against.

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